Bored while I ought to be busy

seriously. whats the frikking matter with me. i ought to be studying my arse off for the exams. not think about things to blog abt and waste time. bah. on second thoughts thr's been a lot going on, and whom else can i tell? yeah .. i see joe a lot these days.. but nothing significant happens. i guess we'll end up as those good friends who could have been more-than-just-good-friends but things weren't meanet to be i guess .. yeah, sounds pretty sucky. but u know what, i'm getting used to this these days.. day after day, crush after crush .. all of them just end up becoming "good friends" and nothing beyond that .. so what if seeing them brings a huge smile on my face or i can go all the way out to be nice to them.. so what if i can't think beyond them and their cute smiles crowd my head when i'm trying to do anything else.. so what if just one sweet word from them makes my day .. *sigh* .. why does it always happen this way? anyway i'm just ranting pretty much for the sake of ranting. so i shall sign off. if you're reading this, pls pray for me. for the dreaded exams of course. and if you can spare your prayers, that things will work out with me and Joe too.. i am hopelessly in love ~

Better late than never?

Ooops. Make it a double Oops! I cannot believe in all this void and nothingness, i forgot .. a belated birthday prayer for, who else but, Joe .. Happy Birthday Sweetheart ..

Moods

Generally depressed as i write this. I don't even know the exact reason why. lately have been in this weird phase of my life. have never been this distracted. ever. have neevr felt so out of sync with everything that is going on around me. ever. have never been so dazed and lost. ever. have never felt so not in control of my life. ever. have never felt this much in love. ever. what is the matter with me?

just last night i was all smiles, all happy, excited and really chirpy. so much that my smile was quite the talk of the town. and just look at me today. i look dead. i look like someone did something terrible to me. i am just totally dazed. and upset for no particular reason. it's probably the nothingness and void that surrounds me. but i'm in this unusually crestfallen state of mind. cant get anything done. just terribly upset. over nothing. i hate this. i don't like my life like this. pls, i need to be happy. again. pls.

Again!

Yes. it happened again. I saw him and melted. Oh Joe, what's going on ya?

Sleepless nights

*yawn* yes, i mean literally sleepless nights. partly cos Karizma is all lovelorn. *tsk tsk* but moreso, cos Karizma is worried. about a million things. and she cant "compartmentalise" her troubles. there's the exam pressure building up. and Karizma isnt anywhere close to prepared. then the whole big rat race. will she make it or not? is she good enough? oh, can't wait to find out. and hoping its all good news. then there's a million other things to do. besides irritating company like misty (who's lately managed to be more bitchy and intolerable than ever before!) .. and of course darlings who don't show up as often as they should, like, who-else-but Joe.. yeah, so Karizma's life's a total mess right now. Oh please, oh please let things get sorted out. and hell yeah, Karizma needs a good night's sleep.. else she's turning into a compulsive insomniac!