Close of Business

I am not so good with finishing business. Sometimes my need to verbalize every thought in my head has cost me more than I have imagined.

Shut up, shut up and shut up. Shutting up was never my strength. But sometimes shut up, if you must.

On a 360 degree, completely different note - I feel weak and helpless. Prayers, please?

The usual rant.

The monotony is alive and kicking folks. But something I've been waiting for a while now is finally going to fall in place. Hopefully things will go alright this time. Otherwise everything is as usual. Till I hit this space again, be good.

And before I miss it, Happy Birthday Dr!

Weirdness

Sometimes I feel things haven't changed much. Or enough.

3 long years and 300 posts later, I still miss you, you know?

The planner

The planner in my head likes everything nicely spelt out, everyday planned in advance, every trip organised, every appointment carefully timed so on and so forth *you get the drift, right* Given the number of plans I am cancelling these days, I'm beginning to shy away from making any plans. And somehow, it is strikes me now more than ever, that it is really those impromptu moments fired by absolutely random impulsive decisions that make memories that last a lifetime.

Wonder if the planner in my head is still listening.

Fear of the unknown?

There's a part of me that loves doing new things. Things I've never done before. Things other people have done before, and recommended me to do, and then of course things even other people haven't done but I would love to do. Or so I think. There's a part of me that loves venturing into places unknown, with every face a stranger. There's a part of me that loves making new friends, where no one remains a stranger.

But then there's this whole other part of me that shies away from everything new. Clams up in front of new people. Sticks to the same old known destinations. And somehow, lately this introvert in me seems to be dominating that free spirited extrovert. Wonder why.

Once bitten, twice shy they say. May be I've become more cynical and bitter about new things now. May be the years taught me to get tough, and not yield to strangers. May be seeing more warned me of potential disasters. May be I just got wound up somewhere between the urge to explore the unknown and what I can only call the fear of the unknown.