Lazy Sunday

yup. slept thru most of the today. have finally gotten my ass down to sitting at my computer. hafta do some important work, but then again, i thought how's blogging for a break .. hehe .. break from? ah, don't ask! anywayz, last evening was fun. was out with the gals, the overdose of oestrogen did get to me, but was a fun night overall. the music played the band at the restaurant did make me a l'il blue. reminded me of the-one-i'm-not-supposed-to-think-of. but i dint break into tears or anything. think i managed it pretty well. generally been quite upbeat. trying :) otherwise, just the mundane stuff going on here. soon it's going to that time of the year. and i have no dates for christmas or new year's eve. as always. *sigh* i think i shd get back to doing some work. will be terribly guilty of whiling away time while i shouldnt otherwise. ciaoz ~

So, that was it ?

Have been doing some thinking. serious thinking. and over the last couple of days, i took a decision. one to finally move on with my life. i really have had enough of waiting around and wishing and hoping something would work between me and Joe. but now, that's it. i have had enough of the waiting. really. so now was the getting over phase.

honestly, when you don't see someone much, i don't particularly believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder. i think, out of sight, out of mind is more apt for me. and well, with joe, it was almost a month that i had seen him now, so the theory would work fairly well. watched mushy movies without thinking of him. check. no feelings. tried to think of that perfect guy I dreamed about. the more i went back to think about it, joe probably wasnt the best guy out there after all. i mean, we always had our differences, and may be, opposites don't attract so much after all! and then again, my blind blind love for him had made me lower my rather strict requirement standards and for Joe, i was willing to compromise. on a lot of things. and now, now that things don't seem to have worked out, it hasn't been so hard for me to push those standards up again. and i can see myself finding it not that hard to get over the whole Joe thing.

I believe there are some classic tests to find out whether you're still in love with your ex or not .. here goes...

1. of course, you do not think of him all the time. once in a while, meandering thoughts will have to be controlled. but no, mind doesnt wander off in his direction.

2. when you actually do see him, you dont feel anything special. he'll be just another guy out there, invoking no emotions in you. definitely not the waves of lurrve you felt before.

and the final one, which is more applicable to ex-es in terms of long lost ex-es, is that you don't find yourself going weak in the knee when he asks you out again. of course, you will never say yes, if you have really gotten over him.

that's my own theory now. i think it works for me. i kinda don't think about Joe so much anymore. still controlling those rare random thoughts. when i did see him, i didnt feel the flutter in the air or my heart didnt skip a beat, like it used when i saw him after months earlier. about the last one, it hasnt been so long yet. so i really cant say for sure. but for now, i think even if by any small chance, he does ask me out, i know what my answer's gonna be. even if it's going to break my heart ~ No honey, not now!

I'm done waiting for you, dear Joe!

Cut, copy and paste!

I found this on someone's blog. Oh, so apt, I had to put it in my blog!

"There's the sort of guy you lust after for years, deluding yourself that every gesture, every word, every glance has a hidden meaning..only to find that..well..it doesn't. And you think "Boy did I waste a shitload of time on that!" And it dawns upon you, that you spent way too much time moulding yourself to him and his world"

Situation sounds strangely familiar, aye? Do we know a Joe, anyone? *slapping my forehead* *repeat action for a million times* *sigh*

So wanna kick myself for being so stupid! bah!

:)

Yo! I'm back from a long hiatus. lots of things have happened. yet, nothing's quite happening.

~ the exams ~

Yup they're over :D (and hence, i'm back from the hiatus!) .. the exams were weird this time, i had prepped quite hard for them, yet somehow, as each exam approached i never felt more unprepared .. a month long prolonged torture ended sometime last week. thank heavens.

as such, there were some joe-me moments through the whole intense study times. but that magic's missing. and there's just something that's off. mebbe me? yeah basically dint hang out much with joe. and even when i did, it just felt way too comfortable and normal. now, is that a good feeling .. mmm.. *shrug* .. mebbe time will tell..

anyway, came back very unsatisfied after the exams. mebbe cos i expected more of these exams, than i've ever expected in university. and i thought i had really slogged my arse off. despite distractions. and side tracks. and long breaks. and canteen rambling. aargh. i'm on the pray-really-hard mode. please do pray everything goes well. and i manage to do well. it really DOES matter.

~ Gluttony and lethargy takes over ~

a week now. all i've done is sleep a lot. pretend to be working on this seemingly endless project. and watched TV. and movies. and pigged out. LOTS. all the fatty fatty foods that i'm not s'posed to be eating. cheese cake. pizza. indian curry. lasagne. and more cheesy food. buckets of ice cream. and coffee. i'm really sinning. big time. but, argh what the heck.

there's the going out option. but that's really expensive. like this other day went out on a gals' nite out. was amazing fun. but burnt a hole in my pocket. and what's with all the shopping? goodness. just got myself another (!!) pair of sexy heels. formalish shoes. totally love it. hope my feet love 'em too. no blisters pls!

besides that, its the usual. havent met too many ppl. see a lot of Pipi cos of the project. misty ofcourse. she's alright mostly. but sometimes, i really could kill her. the oh my god, i don't wanna eat outs and the oh my god, i wanna boyfriend stories get to me sometimes. although lately i'm in a weird state myself. i'm in this highly desparate for a boyfriend state. correction. i'm in this highly desparate for joe state. i really am. had a dream about him yesterday.*sighz* haven't seeen him since the exam period. where art thou, my love?

~ other MORE mundane stuff ~

mmm.. yeah there's a lot of serious stuff going on.. future and all that.. (yn) .. then of course, just doing nothing .. have a lot of small things to handle.. need to go clothes shopping.. hopefully will find those perfect pants for my huge ass! *cursing myself for hogging so much now* .. yikes.. anyway its friday evening, so i should be getting the hell outta here right about now, and go have a gd time .. so.. ciaoz.. more whining and ranting for later, yeah?