My best friend's wedding ...

... Oops! I meant, birthday ... My best friend since sixth grade. a friend whom i've spent hours chatting on the phone, catching up, although we'd have spent the whole day together in class. a friend who was always there when i needed her the most. a friend who believed in me when i needed someone to. a friend whom i've fought the most with. a friend who'd frustrate me with her confused and shady ways. a friend i could almost hate sometimes. yet we're best friends. she's as weird as weird can be, yet we work. she's the ms.goodie-2-shoes. i'm quite the opposite. i guess, opposites do attract, sometimes!

it's her birthday today. happy birthday dear! here's to many more years of friendship, cheers :-)

p.s. errr .. sorry about the title .. the corny title's cos of her constant desparation to get married off and live happily ever after :p

Climax, or The End?

been a while i talked of this. my favorite subject. no sparks. no nothings. it's a weird kind of void. met him after a longish time, but nothing happened. just the usual hi-hello exchanges and the okay, lets get on with life kind of attitude. now, did i miss s'thing or what?

Mr. Right

I have this theory, that my Mr. Right will be the Mr. Wrong. Confused? Understandably, I guess. Mr. Wrong, I mean, like the Right kind of wrong. For the person I am, there's no way I'll find Mr. Goodie-two-shoes as my perfect man .. was reading a friend / acquaintance's blog after which, i'm all dreamy and wondering .. about my own Mr. Right .. here's how I think my Mr. Right is going to be like ..

Someone who'd be so utterly funny when he's being funny, and when serious would be so dead serious that you could never really 'figure-him-out' fully. Someone who'd be arrogant and proud, yet, vulnerable and modest. So talkative, yet so quiet. Someone who'd always be a slight mystery, someone who'd be, what I call, an almost-solved-puzzle. Someone who'd be so spontaneous you could never tell what he's gonna do next. Someone who'd be so unpredictable, he'd do and say all these unbelievably weird things .. Most of all, someone who loved me the most in the whole world. Someone who'd wake up every morning and thank his stars for having me in his life ...

Surprisingly, I don't have the typical tall, dark and handsome requirement on my list. Looks don't matter too much .. a pleasant face with an endearing smile and twinkling eyes wouldn't hurt though :-)

I am not so sure this would be a regular gal's Mr. Right trait list .. with all the mystery and pride .. not forgetting, the almost-no-emphasis on the looks .. i'm not even so sure I want to be treated like a princess .. i'd be more of the friend kinda girl .. the regular fights over silly nothings rather than being all dainty and fussy .. everytime I feel like I have almost met him I figure, may be not .. he's gotta be somewhere out there .. just round the corner .. innit ?

Silences

well, we all have our moment of quietness. be it an awkward pause in an IM conversation full of 'hmmm's or just another chat with that special someone. sometimes silence just takes over. like after someone's been told he's been fired. or your best guy friend just tells you he has feelings for you. or you have a huuuuge fight. a big argument over a silly nothing. all occasions most likely to be followed by those awkward pregnant pauses. pauses waiting for someone to say something and break the silence. break the awkward moment, as if nothing just happened.

of course, there are the other kinds of silences as well. where a moment of silence says more than words. that one look, with no words. that one pause, with no awkwardness whatsoever. silences to take you through the night, with nothing spoken, yet so much said.

Not so bad

le rendezvous avec joe. went off alrite. i think. to let me figure out how much more or less i want to be dying to see him. we don't really have much in common. we don't. we don't talk so much either. no, we don't. but then we click. i think we do. and then, the confusion takes over ~

the dumbness of it all

i have a blog on lj where i blog about more general interesting things than the relatively lame stuff i write here. no really, i do (for those wondering whether i'm even capable of writing any sensible stuff) yeah, but when i made my lj account i really thought that'd be my personal diary kind of place, which i'd anyway not give anyone. so a lame user account *which henceforth gets tagged to your blog address* wouldn't matter much anyway! no one's gonna know it exists, and obviosuly, they wont have a chance to make fun of the rather .. ahem .. funny-for-me or boastful username . turned out i come and write all my mushy posts down here on blogger, where i have, i believe a relatively sane, close to reality kinda username and yeah, the details are all things you can change and edit settings *oh don't i love blogger*

so basically it boils down to having a lame sounding "pink-bubblegum-princess" like username for a blog where i write sense *and wont mind sharing with others* against a super mushy, senti .. quite personal, never-to-read-by-others blog called Karizma ... ah, so dumb. just so dumb. is there some way i can switch contents? *sheepish look*

Happy Birthday Karizma :-)

Yo! I started this blog on the 9th of August 2004, and made my first entry here .. so it's a whole year old, Happy Birthday Karizma! This rant space has served as my place to vent my frustrations, share my happiness, randomly rant and whine and of course, open up as much as i want about silly crushes, petty tiffs and feelings i'd probably never be able to share with anyone else! When I started Karizma, I thought it would be one more of my failed attempts to sustain the blogger in me .. and the blog would end up in ruins, like some of the other pieces of writing I had started. Today, a year from then, I'm proud I could keep it going, albeit irregular and scattered. The purpose of this blog was definitely not to become the world's best blog or get a million ppl to read it. All it was, was a channel to pour my heart out .. pen down those endless thoughts and admitting, to myself, many-a-thing i'd probably never admit otherwise .. and I'm glad how well it's served its purpose :)

As a child, I had this habit of collecting small trinkets, be it old school diaries or chocolate wrappers I had it all nicely filed and wouldn't let a soul touch it .. now, considering the number of times I have had to move around and discard my 'material possessions', I was quite forced to give up the habit .. though i still treasure my diary of grade 9 or that gift wrapping paper that came with my high school academic book prize .. all locked away nicely in a treasure box back at home .. today, thinking about it, I guess it's that child in me that is keeping Karizma alive .. I still like to file away things for posterity, albeit in black and white on the internet .. and of course, I am not one of those people who advertises her blog much, in fact, this is my private journal .. and i really like it to be as private as can be :)

Days when I have little else to do, is my time to sit down sifting through my filed memoirs, and I believe Karizma will be something so close to me and so dear! I do write on my other journal spaces, but never like what I write here .. Karizma has seen me when I was sooo down in the dumps, times when I could not stop those tears from trickling down, times I have bawled like a baby and times when I couldn't get a wink of sleep. Karizma has helped me survive, and come out happier. Everytime I went through a heart breaking, extremely crushing time, Karizma saw me through until I was fine and back to being bouncy and alive :) It's weird how, I blog everywhere else when I'm all-so-happy, but come back here to share my deepest feelings and darkest secrets. wonder, what would I be without this outlet for my emotions .. Thank you Karizma .. and Happy Birthday, once again :) Here's to many more years, more memories to be made and happier times!