Long time

yeah im sorry, but im just totally crumbling under the exam pressure. the stress really getting to me, though this time round i dont feel the seriousness like i did last time. the late night study sessions havent been good or fun. this sure sucks! i was hoping the study wud rekindle some things, nope. no hope. study front not too good either. yikes. two weeks and i'll be just dead man. phew! ending on pessimistic note ... nah ... lets just hope...

Short.

This week's been a menace to say the least. studied l'il, wasted so much time under the pretext of studying, quite angry - with myself first then the resta the world practically. Joe's nt been very nice either. Hmmmmph! anyway this random rambling is also from the study-hub, so i better get back to the books before dying with guilt ... yupz, ciao for now.

I NeeD MoRe ThAn JuZ LuCk!

yupz.. have been working l'il bit on that fantastic topic called Electronics ... aaarrrggghhh.. makes me wanna wonder why why why on earth am i in this stream, I'd be way better doing a course on Lit. or French or may be even Intl studies .. *sighz* yeah .. then everything going uphill.. the wrong side of things, make me wanna believe that its gonna take way more than just sheer luck to help me get thru this phase .. tmr is the dreaded lab session .. yikes!
hmmm started a new blog on coffee.. was thinking i'll jot down some trivia on coffee, but then i feel mebbe its a bit badly timed - with exams round the corner i've no business to waste time on smth as trivial as coffee *blush*
oh before i miss this.. yupz yupz, Happy Birthday Joe! wishing u love luc & laughter ;) cheers ...

A smooth sea never makes a skilful sailor, remember ?

Now thats the tag line ... moving on in life .. yes, the rainy, gloomy weather's changed to bright sunshine... hopefully the sunshine of my life is going to come round soon too... now heading off to free myself of guilt and start studying .. about a month before exams, and its high time i started! lemme not waste nemore time... ciaoz

JuZ n AfTeRThouGhT ..

I just turned the leaf over on my desk calendar - and the thought for october reads -

"A smooth sea never makes a skillful sailor"

Coincidence, any takers?

P/s - this week has been a Disaster. why can't i just get over this? and why does this always happen to me? why me, why? and please pretty please, let things get better, God.. plssss!

Some more Cheese ~ Bring it on!

this one's after an overdose of cheese... but hell yeah, the coffee bean cheese cake is irresistable! and then the mocha ... heavenly.. simply divine combo .. hehe.. made my terrible day slightly better...

yes, guess what i was rejected by my internship company .. yes, Rejected. Sucks right?! now its going to be a looong wait till i find another internship, and who knows it might nt even be half as good. so disappointing and heart-breaking. to think i have no one to share or no one's around to support me sucked big time. everyone else, almost made it. hurts!

later on, a couple of frenz stuck up with me though. Aze was a darling. so was kevs. may be the rest really dont know how to react, or how i'd take it if they react. i think i'm taking it alright. initially was a bit heartbroken and crestfallen. but daddy's words of advice and mama's support saw me thru all that. now feeling better, not good really. but i guess i have to start living with some of these facts. and yes, the world out there IS crazy competitive and tough. there are ppl way better than me, and certainly ppl far luckier. its a matter of priorities, decisions and definitely, no regrets. i wanna believe i tried sincerely. too bad things didnt work out. hopefully will get a fair deal at the end of this traumatic time. the fact that most others made it actually makes me feel real lousy. Joe made it. i hope he doesnt act like one helluva cocky bassket now. Aze was really supportive. sweet. besides that it felt like i had no more frenz. may be not their fault really. but still hurts to have no shoulder to cry upon. Tee was a pain in the ass. wudnt stop talking about her project and oh how worried she was, hullo, you're talking to soemone who's had like the worst day ever. anyway thats her, as usual. my so called friend. wanted to talk to pretty pinkie dahling, but she must be busy with her tests and prepping for that. miss her.

P/s - call it retail therapy. call it going berserk. but just blew up money on hi-carb creme coffee and cheese cake. now goin to be complaining abt the adipose additions. you know where the problem starts, don't you? what is really the matter with me!?!

CHeeeeeSy ~

yeah thats how cheesy im feeling after this pizza i just had for friday night dinner - oh all the cheese .. *guilty* sheepish look* yikes! how can i do this to myself .. fatty cheesy pizza .. ohhh nooooo ... but well, i had more reason to complain and feel low about, so pizza would be my best way to get right back to action.

had this terribly booring *yawny yawny* meeting that kinda lasted forever! then was a while with soem frenz, hoping that'd help me cheer up a bit - but well well, guess whAt hap .. ended feeling totally crap. everyone talking about their "accomplishments" so-to-speak, and i was there feeling all loserly and sad .. yeah, i havent won a thing since i got outta high school. oh boy this sucks! somewhere in this deal, i seem to have traded myself .. given my real self away .. what ever happened to that driven competitive win all attitude in me?! hmmmm no one here will believe i was ever like that .. *sighz* i mean i dont even figure in their list of probables for any of these competitions or anything, totally sidelined. may be the "legally blonde" portrayal hasnt really helped. now i feel its just too late to make them realise what i am, cos may be that was history, this me is totally different. not at all driven! competitions and quizzes that excited me now threaten my academic performance so im scared to take part, and yeah.. hell i have to admit it but i am scared i will lose when i do go and take part . o this just totally sucks!! where have i landed up in? this wasnt me .. no ... change .. change has been welcome but somewhere i feel i have lost the very essence that was me in the first place ...