CHeeeeeSy ~

yeah thats how cheesy im feeling after this pizza i just had for friday night dinner - oh all the cheese .. *guilty* sheepish look* yikes! how can i do this to myself .. fatty cheesy pizza .. ohhh nooooo ... but well, i had more reason to complain and feel low about, so pizza would be my best way to get right back to action.

had this terribly booring *yawny yawny* meeting that kinda lasted forever! then was a while with soem frenz, hoping that'd help me cheer up a bit - but well well, guess whAt hap .. ended feeling totally crap. everyone talking about their "accomplishments" so-to-speak, and i was there feeling all loserly and sad .. yeah, i havent won a thing since i got outta high school. oh boy this sucks! somewhere in this deal, i seem to have traded myself .. given my real self away .. what ever happened to that driven competitive win all attitude in me?! hmmmm no one here will believe i was ever like that .. *sighz* i mean i dont even figure in their list of probables for any of these competitions or anything, totally sidelined. may be the "legally blonde" portrayal hasnt really helped. now i feel its just too late to make them realise what i am, cos may be that was history, this me is totally different. not at all driven! competitions and quizzes that excited me now threaten my academic performance so im scared to take part, and yeah.. hell i have to admit it but i am scared i will lose when i do go and take part . o this just totally sucks!! where have i landed up in? this wasnt me .. no ... change .. change has been welcome but somewhere i feel i have lost the very essence that was me in the first place ...