random musings

have been up and about lately. the laziness does continue to dominate my life, although i've not been slacking, for a change. woke up at an unusual 7 am this morning, and amazed myself. things can change around here, now, really! i wonder if its my hanging out so much with mishty or just desparation in general, but these days i'm more or less always on the look out. surprisingly, i found that if u look carefully and try hard enough, it aint that hard to find cuties here and there. *boy! i sound like such a bimbo, someone whack me please* anywayz despite that, today all i could do is stare longingly at my fone, waiting for him to call and say he's back. i know that isn't gonna happen. but then, there's always hope. after all, what's life without hope?

deep down, i guess i haven't fully gotten over whatever had struck me for the last few years. geez. yes, it has been a few years now! and now, when i was almost sure its all done and over, why do i feel like i need more time to call it quits? why do i feel the need for a better closure? why do i feel like this needs a better ending? and why, why does the heart long for something it can never have? why do I miss something that was never mine in the first place?

p.s. the pathetic melodramatic postings have to end. i know, and i'm trying. really. till then, bear with me, dears!