I hate me!

yes. its official. i hate me. reasons:

1. for going all the way out to be nice to be people

2. for giving others so much importance in my life

3. for letting them rule my life

4. for letting never being able to judge who my true friends are

5. for letting these so called friends break my heart time and again

6. for not punishing those who hurt me

7. for getting carried away and believing so easily

8. for letting small things affect me

9. for actually thinking these people are worth my energy and time

10.for having such low self esteem (an I hate me blog? - think abt it!)

11.for getting depressed for no reason at all

12.for believing people like misty will come round (yes, she "inspired" me to write this!)

13.for letting go of friends i really loved

14.for judging myself and others ever so critically

15.for expecting others not to be selfish and self obsessed

16.for letting my ego take a beating everytime i'm compared to anyone, for anything

17.for believing in unconditional love

18.for never expressing what I truly feel s'times

19.for being letting 'em treat me like toilet paper and get away with it!

20.for such a complete push - over ~

yes, "push over" that's the word i was looking for. really mad right now. letting out the steam here is going to help, hopefully. and bloody hell, can misty stop ranting about gym? it is really really driving me mad. as i said earlier, if she wants to discuss weight troubles, i'm the absolute 100% wrong person. pls pls pls go away and whine to someone else. she has no idea how mad she's driving me these days. i need a break. need to recharge. and NOT see her for sometime. and really need to work on my self confidence. and definitely do sth about losing a coupla pounds before the vacation! *Karizma feels so totally frustrated*

p/s hah! and I said I cant hate. *confused soul* i need a shrink. no wait. i need to go home. i just wanna run away!