Restless

I thought i had come to terms with everything that was goin on in my life. more like, just content, even though not quite in full control of things. turns out i was quite wrong. little did i know when i said i was so happy, that the next couple of weeks would go like this! my god! the last week or so has been utterly disappointing, very dull and boring and absolutely unhappening. i've hardly met any frenz, except misty ofcourse. but these days she's so aloof and bluey all the time, seeing her makes me more depressed. worse still, she makes these statements to altogether put me off. the only time u see her face light up is when she's talking about guys and marriage. every second thing is "oooh so good looking". these days it just so gets to me. i cant see how she can fall in and out of love with every second guy on the street. literally. generally hanging out with her doesnt make me any happier, so i've decided to chill that for a while. infact i wanted to go out and do our usual girl talk thing tonite, friday coffee time, but misty had planned to work out tonite *hell, wat a lousy way to spend friday evening* so ma'am wont come. good riddance i guess. day by day she's just getting more and more boring to hang out with. wats worse, she's pretty all the "hang out" friends im left with at the moment. shit. life really sucks s'times.

then there's work - dull and boring again. i get mad at myself for being so careless about it, but lets face it, i cant do a day in day out booooring job for so damn long. repetitive routines have just totally got to me. sigh. now its finally the weekend. but hardly anything to look fwd to in the weekend also. how dull!

anyone who knows me by now muz have guessed i have not seen Joe either. miss him. i guess i should get used to life without him and move on. may be. i hardly see him these days. that spark seems to be gone. even when we meet, thr's hardly time for a hi-hello conversation. if ever this is going to work out, its probably not now. thr's gonna be a lot of rebuilding and reconnecting to be done before smth happens, and i'm nt sure i'm so ready for that. and i don't even know for sure he's interested. they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. really? i don't think so. not for me and joe. it has become a story of "out of sight, out of mind". at least thats wat it seems like from his end. ='(

whats been bothering me most this week is undoubtedly the issue of my academic research project. i was glad when a friend had asked me to be his partner, cos i was dreading the day everyone else would pair up and leave me with no partners. but now with this guy, i'm having second thoughts. are we really on the same frequency? would we actually have similar interests to choose smth we both will enjoy? will this initial enthusiasm remain, or die off over the long year ahead of us? questions for which i'm yet to find answers .. we have tried to discuss things out, he's been okay so far, but our areas of interests seem to be QUITE different, in which case, it may not be such a great idea to team with him after all. though he's a nice guy mostly. have known him since first week of college. we both arent particularly the smartest ppl around, but i guess we could pull off a decent job. hopefully things will settle and work out for the best. i'm nt even so sure why im getting so worried about this. i'm usually not the one to bother myself so much about academic issues, remember the last minute whining every exam season?! yeah, daddy thinks i should look out for wats best for me. though i'm not the kind of person who can walk off, shirking away a commitment made. esp to someone who's been a good fren all along =S *aarrggghhhh confusion*

besides that this week was angel's birthday - Happy Birthday dearie! wishing you loadsa luv, luc & laughter, babe!

hmmm... no closing thoughts. better get back to work, been slacking off wayyy too much these days. sigh! *pray things get better, pls god pretty pretty pls!*