closure

i think i know the reason for my recent unreasonable mood swings and varying levels of depression. i think just like every relationship, every friendship and every story has a finite beginning, they all need endings. if i may say so, we need these endings to be happy endings, but that's a whole post for another day.

so, what i believe i really need is a solid closure. a finale, a final goodbye and a much awaited ending. what is really bothering me is the whole new possibility that arises with every encounter, the high hopes that this time it may translate to something, and finally the disappointment that it did not, after all. to think that i can be an escapist, and avoid the very possibility of an encounter is a wee bit stupid, since we all know that's not going to happen. the encounters will be almost inevitable. what i need is a proper ending, a way that this story can be closed. such that with the next encounter, nothing will be different. i will not feel the possibility of this encounter being anything more than what it really is. and the day i get such closure, i will snap out of this sine wave mood syndrome, i'm sure. and then, there'll be a new story, a fresh beginning and hopefully, a happier ending, this time round!