With or without you

One of my favorite U2 songs. Reminds me of the episode from F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Ross dedicates this song to Rachel, when she’s mad at him for making the list. Today, it’s pouring outside, and I can’t get this song outta my head. A lot has been going with me these days. First, I got back from a lovely holiday back home. Met up with a whole bunch of friends. Catching up with friends is always something I enjoy. I guess this would be a good time to mention I met Joe as well. Things are unbelievably weird with us, to say the least. I mean, I still can’t quite get over him a hundred percent and considering I’m trying really hard, I find it easiest to run away and avoid him. But then that just seems to make things far worse, giving him really wrong signals, leaving him quite confused I assume. So the last time we met, he was being his usual sweetheart self while I behaved quite nastily and made my way to the exit even before he finished whatever he was trying to say. Boy, do I feel miserable about it or what? But on some level I guess this is really the best thing for me, I simply have to get over this and move on!

It is indeed amazing how I called up so many of friends and chatted with them after getting back, although really speaking there was only one person I really wanted to talk to, but just couldn’t bring myself to calling him. No prizes for guessing who this was, by the way!

Anyway the past week has been really busy; calling it unsettling would be an understatement. My emotions have ridden a sine wave, from peels of laughter and fun to tears and frustration. Peels of laughter and fun were mostly associated with the new people I met over the last week, a great bunch of fun people. So far that is. Touch wood. I am not exactly a daredevil person who enjoys sporty activities, but this time round things were different and I managed to have quite a ball. The tears had much to do with missing the family and a sudden feeling of loneliness. Staying away from friends and family does this to you I guess.

Oh by the way, in case I didn’t mention, I just moved out of a place that had been my home for almost three years now. My new place is a great place, fun room mates and is still in the process of becoming a place I can truly call home. Most of my friends and the people I generally hang out with aren’t exactly next door. Most are quite busy getting on with their own lives, given that all of us are starting afresh. Despite being too busy to get upset over these things, sometimes a wave of emotions take over my mind and I really miss the life I used to have. I hope over time I can make more friends around here in my new place, and that old friends stay the same ol’ good friends. Pray for me, will ya?